I’ve had a long week…
Work’s been pretty crazy lately. I sit in a tiny 5 x 5 cubicle to do my 20 x 20 work. I have several different unrelated duties, so I get pulled in a lot of directions. I have to work hard to keep all the threads neatly tied together. Because of the Coronavirus, there’s a lot of video conferencing now. Sitting in a 5×5 space, directly surrounded by people in other 5×5 spaces is not conducive for optimum concentration on a video conference, or while you try to input information. Maybe age is just catching up to me, and my focus is not what it used to be. I’ll never go full-on postal, but I had a busy and stressful day this week where I went postal “enough”, and my temper got the best of me with one of my co-workers. I really hate that it happened, though I didn’t quite convey that to him afterwards. I tried to apologize, but I somehow miffed that as well. So much for humility.
I had a heart attack a year ago, and a few weeks ago I developed bells palsy. It’s clearing up now, but sometimes I just sit in my worn out couch cushion waiting for the next big thing to drop, barely moving or speaking. I have to wonder if death by red meat could be considered a self-inflicted wound. It’s been hard to eat better. I’m used to what I like and don’t want to change. So, while some people take the quick and easy way out, am I just doing the same thing, except slower? I know I’m rambling, but like I said, it’s been a heck of a week. This is probably about whether I feel like I have anything genuinely worthwhile to offer.
On top of all of that, I’ve still got so many flaws and hangups. I’m finding it hard to find a reason to do anything at all, though I try. This is why I’m here church. Why I’m writing to you. It’s Friday night, and the weekend goes by pretty quickly. Before it does, and I miss another Sunday, I’d like to come visit you. But I need the right place. I’m not talking about the right people. I know they’re as messed up as me, even if they won’t admit it. That’s true across every denomination. I could throw a stone in church and hit a broken person every single time. That’s actually kind of a comfort to me.
Here’s where I need your help:
Find me a place that will give me hope after a long and difficult week. Find me a seat in a church that points to something outside of me. Give me the address of grace and mercy.
I know you can send me to hundreds of different places all within a 20 mile radius. But this week, I’m begging you to find me someplace that I could drag myself into, all bruised and battered, and find a comforting balm to treat my wounds. I know the tendency nowadays is to tell people how to dress their own wounds and get back out there, but that’s not what I need. What I need is the great healer to come and heal me. I want to walk into a place that sees me hungry and parched and feeds me bread and wine.
That’s what I need this weekend. I don’t need to be told how to measure up, I’m a mess after this week. I feel unworthy and empty after this week. I need someone to tell me Christ has measured me for the sweetest fitting robes of righteousness, bought and paid for by him.
So where is that place Church?
I have to tell you, I’m not the only one looking for it. There are others out there, the walking wounded, looking for refreshment. They are looking for grace and mercy. For Christ to call them his, apart from works. I know so many who need that something to be given to them. It’s not a something to do, but a something that was done.
This Sunday, point me in the right direction. Don’t drive me inward towards good behavior, but outward towards an obedient Son. Drive me to something greater than I, Drive me to a baptism where the promise is found. Drive me to absolution where my sins are forgiven. Drive me to a meal that fortifies me in Christ. Finally drive me to a cross that validates it all!
Where is that place I can go to this weekend?
Where can I find a Gospel that’s not just for the unsaved to come to, but for the Christian to come to again and again?
Where is it? Tell us.
We are desperate for it.